buon_giorno

Today, Juli was furious with me. I deserved it.

In all my time knowing her she's never raised her voice to anyone. I never thought I'd be the first. Honestly, I didn't see it coming at all. I knew I would worry her, but even so...I admit I didn't consider her feelings beyond that. Perhaps I just expected her to simply be waiting for my return to health and with some reassurances it would be business as usual.

She makes space for others within herself endlessly. I've come to rely on her for that reason. I told her I wanted to return the favor and instead this happened...

I should have told her. It wouldn't have changed my actions, but I should have told her exactly what I planned to do. Why didn't I?

Without fully understanding myself, I apologized. She's begun to forgive me. Maybe she has already completely...after all, that's the kind of person she is. But that's not good enough. If I carry on exactly as I have, inevitably...I'll hurt her again.

I've never once languished over someone else's feelings. If she were merely a subordinate or a colleague, there would be no questioning my actions.

...

Today, a new arrival boldly approached me. Her name is Yukari. She was curious about me, and I was curious about her. She was able to see my Stand. I willingly showed it to her. I told her many things about myself. When she said she assumed I was an army brat, I thought...it would be truly nice to be friends with her.

I really am changing.

Right now, I want to tell Juli about it. After all, she's the one who told me I could use more friends...but some space may be for the best. I'll write about it here instead. After this, I'll rest more. After all, I promised her I would be back on my feet in time for the festival.

I cannot sleep tonight.

It's a new moon. This the third new moon since I've been here. Every night like this I'm too uneasy to rest.

The sky is like a void. It's too wide and too dark.

Naples would glow at night.

I hate it.

Am I just anxious?

Has it only been 3 months since Bucciarati and the others were here?

My hands are shaking. How useless. I hate it.

I'm starting to repeat myself.

I'll wait for dawn to come.

Even between two people a hierarchy will form. It's human nature. The more people you add to it, the more complex it becomes.

There are about 250 of us now. We haven't reached the capacity of how many this villa complex can support, but we've already grown far beyond my expectations and it won't be long until we do. If we want to grow more, we'll need a hierarchy with explicit rules. One with myself at the top dictated by nothing but the implicit rules of social order and a hope won't last much longer.

I believe I've been negligent in not deciding this sooner. Further...what has made this clear to me is rather pitiful.

I was enjoying some tea in the pavilion. Then, Criff sat on my lap. She refused to move.

I can usually tell when people are sneaking up on me but she may as well have been a ghost materializing on top of me. I'm embarrassed to admit it. I must be more exhausted than I thought. That must have been clear to her too, because she wasted no time on commenting on my eye bags.

It's not as if I'm some prude but it's the first time someone has been so forward. I've ignored the comments and the touches up until now, but she insisted on making herself known today. So, I turned one of my pastries into a snake. Maybe it was petty of me, but it solved the issue without any unkind words being said or force used. For now.

Upon reflection, I'm certain this was calculated. There were people around but no one close enough to hear what we were saying. To anyone passing it must have looked like PDA between two teenagers. Which is just...

If the others think I'm weak-minded enough to be manipulated or content to let others get away with doing less because of my libido I'll lose their faith.

I'll think of how to deter her later. For now, sleep.

A new young woman became part of the villa today. Her name is Zelda.

Interestingly, she's a princess.

I don't see a reason to doubt her claim. She has a white steed, after all.

She had no fear of admitting as much, but not with the entitlement I'd expect from someone from high society. She's been on her own for days now and is in search of familiar faces like all of us. She passed through several towns on her way here who pointed her this way.

So, it seems as if we're getting such a reputation that even royalty is seeking us out. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

She's been blessed with good fortune. I can think of many, even in this fragmented reality, who would who try to exploit her status or prey on a young woman traveling alone. Still, she's quite resilient. The ones who came here alone were all much worse for the wear than her.

She's spirited and kind. It was impossible not to get a good impression from her. I welcomed her and Storm (her horse) to stay right away. She accepted.

~~

Zelda noticed me staring at her device around the meal hall. She was eager to explain it to me, though I must confess it went over my head quickly. It's called a Sheikah Slate. It's some kind of artifact created by an ancient civilization. It's like the Antikythera mechanism if it were fully intact and actually a high powered computer. She intends to map out the area with it and she's been doing so her entire trek here. That data will be valuable in assessing how stable and predictable this world is. That's far from the extent from it's abilities, all of which she has a keen understanding of...she has a sharp mind and I can tell she'll be a valuable asset to us.

She asked me about my special abilities. I feel exposed with them being so widely known in this community but it can't be helped. So, I showed her.

She recoiled when I turned a pebble into a scorpion. I admit, I shouldn't have lead with that.

After collecting herself she grew unnervingly giddy and asked me if I could turn a lump of amber she had into a hot-footed frog. I don't know what that is, so the excitement left as quickly as it came when I told her I could not. I felt a little bad for it.

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31

Recent Entries

Journal Entry: Making Friends and Amends

Journal Entry: It stirs during the new moon

Journal Entry: Things better left unsaid

Journal Entry: She had a white steed...

Profile

January 2025

Syndicate

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags